50 words stories

1)Sandra turn around to face Luke. She stares into his eyes and touch his cheeks. Luke look down and shift his feet. Sandra says, “ Luke, I wish this moment can last.” Luke just nods his head and smile, giving Sandra a cuddly warm hug. Soon, the sun sets.

2)The booming sound of thunder and lightning flashes. Andrew drove his car at a very high speed with his face all scrunch up. He murmured,”Damn, how stupid can I get? Why did I kill her?” He sees a white figure and swerve the car to the right and crash into a tree. Andrew died instantaneously.

3)Maria walk up and down the alley of the hospital while brushing her palms onto her jeans. She stops in front of the operating thither and peek inside. She continues to march up and down the alley. AS soon as the doctor pushes the door he shakes his head to Maria.

4)Stephanie slaps Lois on her cheeks. Lois face turns red and her eyes become teary. Lois starts to sob but Stephanie just walk away. Lois punches the walls several times. Lois takes the stairs to the rooftop and look onto the ground. Lois pushes herself to the front and fall with a thud.

5)Grandma Elsa gives chelmyn a pass down necklace. Chelmyn takes the necklace with a disgusted face and said, “ you want me to wear this to my dance? Oh please!! I rather die” “honk! Honk!” Chelmyn ran towards the car. She trips onto a rock and fall flat to the ground.

9 Comments »

  1. shuhui Said:

    Author: Seri
    Title: No 3
    What it’s about: Maria is waiting for a operation results in the hospital. She is very nervous. The doctor came out to reveal the bad news.
    What works: As readers, I can feel the tension. The storyline is clear and vivid. I can imagine how nervous he was.
    Room for improvement: Could have state who was inside the room for a more in-depth storyline.

  2. simplyjosh Said:

    Author: Seri
    Title: Numb3r
    What it’s about: A lady awaiting news from an operation procedure of someone she knows.
    What Works: I know where she is. I vaguely know what she’s doing.
    Room for Improvement: Grammer and spelling mistakes here and there. The word choices describing her actions before the climax just makes it seem like a comedy. It seemed very casual and breezy. No one would be like that in a hospital, further more waiting for good or probably terrible news. She could’ve been more anxious, upset and terrified rather than ‘marching’ up and down the hall.

  3. directorray Said:

    Author: Seri
    Title: 3)
    What it’s about: A woman who is in the hospital waiting for the doctor to finish examining someone she knows. But when he’s done, the doctor brings bad news.
    What works: The curiosity of what is wrong, what happened, and to who.
    Room for improvement: Cannot really tell that the character was nervous.

  4. liqing Said:

    Author: Seri
    Title: 3)
    What it’s about: Someone close to Maria dies in an operation.
    What works: She didn’t have to mention exactly what happens in the story. The place and the actions of the characters tell readers what is happening, and the emotions felt by the main character.
    Room for improvement: I would want to know who was in the operating theatre and what caused the person to be in there. “alley in the hospital” could be rephrased.

  5. sianzationalisticallism Said:

    Number three

    “ Theatre “ spelt as “ thither “. Also, are we allowed to peek into operation theatres? I like how she uses the marching up and down the hallway to show her anxiousness. However, a fifty word story did not have to have the marching up and down repeated.

  6. pamelapomelo Said:

    Author: Seri
    Title: (number 3)
    What it’s about: a girl walks to an operating theater to find out about the condition about someone who has had an operation.
    What works: she was able to build up the tension in the story. We can sense Maria’s fear as she walks to the operation theater
    Room for improvement: we don’t know the exact ending of the story.

  7. genieshanu Said:

    AUTHOR: Seri
    TITLE: 3
    What is it about-About a girl waiting anxiously outside the operation thatre
    WHAT WORKS WELL:Description of character’s anxiety very good
    Room for improvement-Unnecessary repeat of actions. Did not know whether the character was a nurse or a doctor till towards the end of the story

  8. junjie Said:

    Author: Seri
    Title: Number 3
    What it’s about: Somebody close to maria got admitted to the hospital under the emergency care and presumably, dies.
    What works: Clear storyline
    Room for improvement: State who entered the hospital and, use more strong vocabulary to express maria’s feelings.

  9. eithelonnen Said:

    Author: Seri

    Title: No.3

    What it’s about: Tells of Maria waiting outside operating theatre only to receive bad news.

    What works: Good description of the environment. And it shows her emotions well with the description of her actions.

    Room for improvement: Story does not really end. The location of the operation theatre as well as the descriptions of the doctor’s actions felt slightly strange.


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